The Testimony Journal is a place for us, our friends and partners to post testimonies of their daily lives in Christ. Please feel free to send us your testimony, under the contact us page, if you would like us to post it for all to read.
August 1, 2016
As my mouth murmurs worry and angst
My spirit is singing praises
As my enemies feel as close as my breath
My spirit tells me that is where my Father sits
When I sit and stand and aimlessly wonder about
God is ordering my steps
As my mind races and I want to just break down and cry
The holy spirit reminds me that Jesus did that for me
When I have had all the disappointment and set backs I can take and feel unworthy and overlooked
The words of scripture remind me that He will never leave or forsake me
Drowning in the sea of right or wrong or what did I or didn't I do
My lord comes walking on the water and takes my hand
As despair and fear of standing in trust and faith overwhelm my emotions and make me want to flee
My father whispers His perfect love for me in my ear
As I endure the process of the lords refining fire and the flesh that I so have trusted in starts to die
The father reminds me that the bush was not consumed and Issac did not die
Why do I not rest in His word
Why can't I obey His commands and end the hold that my flesh and the world have on me
Why does the end seem so far away
What if I am wrong in what I heard him ask of me and I sacrifice my family and my life to a ploy of the enemy
Will we be homeless and broken for trying to follow the lamp unto our feet
I am my own worst enemy in times of adversity and testing for I cannot hold on to all the wonderful signs and wonders that I have seen
Because He will not solve the problems that are large to me but show up in other places feeds my flesh to say you are not special
You are not needed by God
You don't have this important world changing job to do
All those prophetic words are just people perpetuating the lie the enemy had so easily sold you through your wounds and pride
God here I am a mess of a mess believing that even if I am wrong that you will not let me drive off this cliff
I will continue to praise you and worship you in truth for there is no way you sent your son to die and the enemy win. So for no other reason but that you are worthy I live whatever this I am to glorify you. Father accept me as this mess of flesh and transform me to what you will
I need the joy that got our lord through the cross for that strength is in you and I will fail without it. Help this worm. As Paul said I can't seem to get it right but I will die trying. I know in my knower you are there for me
Am I lazy and entitled and just want someone to do it for me or is this waiting training
March 2, 2015
The fertile ground of Desperation
I find myself contending for the promises of God daily if not hourly during this season in my life. My worldly security and trust I have given up and am relying on the mercy and goodness of the Father." What a glorious place to be" I hear my spirit saying." What better place can you be in than to be totally relying on God and His ways? Where is a place that so invites the presence of God that can reveal Him in all His majesty? Where else can you have a wrestling match at the Gates of Heaven? In what other situation can you be in where you are crying out and joyful at the same time? Where else do hardships and adversity and strongholds add up to Righteousness, Peace and Joy? I will tell you where, it is at the foot of the Throne lying flat on your face not quite knowing how to boldly approach when you are gripped in a struggle of doubt and unbelief. This must be the place where God scoops off the dross because I am laying in a puddle of it! I am so glad that I have an advocate,Jesus, and an interpreter,Holy Spirit, for I am babbling gibberish at this point and about to wring the skin off my hands. I am mentally going down my list of religious rituals, like ok did I repent first?; did I come in thanksgiving and praise?; have I plead the blood? And all the other things the word says to do. NO! I have not because fear of not being worthy,fear of having not been obedient and many other disqualifying thoughts are racing through my mind. My emotions are in total control of my mind,body and soul at this point. My weakness has never been so evident as it is now at this very moment. I am totally helpless and have no means to accomplish what I need. I am empty. I have filled this ground with tears,sobs and moans,pounding of the fists,desperate pleas and probably a vow or two. The world will see this as adding "chicken manure" but God sees it as humble fertilizer. We must reach the end of ourselves many times in our valleys to ascend the other side with the faith we need to move on up the ladder to the Kingdom. As the fight leaves you and your strength is gone, the Father's perfect love that cast out all fear begins to flow. Even though you know that you are still in need you also know the strength of the Lord. For those who have been to this place that I speak of and have felt the Lord come in to your circumstance then you know how special this ground is. For it is from here that we are reborn often into the the peace of God. There is no place here for human involvement, this is God's territory, at the foot of the cross. What part of us has just died and what will the Lord resurrect in its place? Enduring faith,trust in Him and more ability to rest in that trust. Do not despise this place. Enter with reverence and holiness to the foot of the cross. Where the blood of Christ was spilled to free us. Join in the purging of dross with an intention of expectation of there being joy on the other side. So wail,kick and scream! Fight the good fight for the Lord will touch your thigh and give you rest from the struggle and lay you at the foot of Christ for He is the Way, the Truth and the Light. You are not fighting to hold it in you are struggling to get free. Break the bonds of Adam,search them out and take them through the cross. All that God has for you is waiting on the other side but must pass through death to receive life. Don't go around or avoid the cleansing fire of God for its flames burn with the love and passion He has for you! Seed in this ground will produce 100 fold,enriched by desperation and tended by love will produce a mighty harvest in your life.
Blessing and Love,
Jan. 9, 2015
Jim and I went hunting that morning and had a good time. We saw lots of birds and Jim shot his first duck which was a woodie. We talked about God and our life paths as usual. It was really comforting to have him here. When we got back to the skeet shack we were drinking coffee and talking about the anxiety and the fleshly struggles I am having around a business deal that I had unwavering belief was led by the providence of God. As time had passed and I had not heard from one piece of the puzzle that needed to fall in place my belief,faith and peace were giving way to thoughts like;did I miss God, what have I done wrong,what have I not done, where did I miss God, have I been judged in self promotion or glory stealing. I prayed,cried out to God,repented and asked God to show me at what point I was out of His will. Knowing the problem is not His but mine I started to analyze this issue from the beginning. Was this my assignment or did I perceive it was through a veil of need and want to be a savior or need of earthly provision or some other will that was of my own and not God. I share all things with Jim so he knows how I work and he said that I was over" analizing" this situation and that was unlike me. I had shared with Jim that I was not going to manipulate this situation and had totally put it in God's hands but I knew that the others involved in this deal were going to ask questions and I would valiantly stand on My God and what I had proclaimed to have heard Him say about this deal. How could I have been so sure,how could I have seen the affirmations any other way and how when I looked back how God and I have formed our relationship could all these markers of our language together be wrong. I have all these other people involved that are going to be disappointed and will think God had let them down or even worse that Mark is a false prophet. As we were talking I felt the time had come to check on the puzzle piece that was lacking. So I emailed this person on whom I realized I had put in the forefront of this deal when supposedly I had claimed that this was God's position and rightly so for we can do nothing without Him. I knew when I pressed send that a struggle was on its way. In my heart I had known the answer that I had not yet received was going to be that this piece did not belong in my puzzle. I had stepped off the cliff of faith and I was going to go splat for all to see but all I could think about was how disappointed God must be with me for missing His word and not being obedient to His way when I had asked for it so emphatically in all that I do. As I got up from our conversation to get more coffee I had a feeling to look out of the window I was near and look up. When I did there was a flock of pigeons flying right at me and in the middle of the flock was a Snow White dove and I immediately new that God was involved in this conversation. They landed on the skeet tower we call the "high house" with the white dove in the middle. We counted and there were 12 pigeons and the white dove made 13 and for those of you who know me know that is mine and God's number. I felt a sense of peace flood over me and felt the Lord say that my part was to survive the journey and His outcome is always to overcome and in two days I would know how. As soon as we sat back down the phone rang and the puzzle piece said he was going to take another deal that was of a longer term and he had just made up his mind and called me right away. When I looked at the caller I.d. And told Jim this was it Jim shot out the door and went down toward the oak grove and I knew he was interceding. I sat down and tried to be upset but could not. I had been led by my devotionals this week and through the spirits leading in prayer to look at matthew 6:33 and Luke 16. I had looked at Deuteronomy 8 also and a few other passages and realized through this process an understanding that I had was incomplete. I always seek the wisdom of God and His ways for I know no other way to make sure I am being obedient in a pleasing way and the only way to do that is to know what the Lord is asking and then do it. The basis of my lack of knowledge was that of mammon. I will save that subject for another day for unto itself it is deep. The part that is relevant here is that God had taken all last week preparing me a place to stand when I received what I perceived to be bad news. I had persevered through anxiety and the enemy pricking my flesh to rise against me all week and was thinking how immature in the Lord I really am and the whole time the Lord is setting my spirit on The Rock to handle the fall of the flesh through the word.Our part is the process we go through to overcome because the goal or point of victory is the Lord's and is in His timing. I realized also that I had been praying to know what part is mine to play in our relationship and He had answered it. Float in the river when you are with the wind and current and row with all the promises of God when you He has you going upstream to fight the current and the wind. For He says that He is not the storm but He is in it. I am taking time to set the seen for you must see God's vision in this to detect the light and not to dwell in the darkness of an apparent but false outcome. For I am now in the eye of the storm and the wind will be at my back and there will be no need to row for I have overcome the forces of the current that even though they are the same ones I fought and persevered through will now carry me to my destination as I float in the understanding that I now have of the River. So we go back out to hunt ducks in the afternoon and it is just a beautiful day. We notice that one of the ducks that I had shot that morning did not drift over to where we could retrieve it but the "winds had changed" and it on the shore of an island in the lake. We had not been there long when all of a sudden there appeared a huge Bald Eagle from over tops of the pine trees. He circled and then started to descend toward the lake and I said I bet he is going to grab a fish. As lowered his huge talons toward the water he picked up the wood duck that I had shot that morning and flew up into the pine tree to eat it. jim looked at me and said" I didn't think Eagles would eat dead things but they always killed them fresh. We knew this duck was dead because originally when I shot it, it landed only a few yards away and floated right by us belly up. Both of us knew this was a prophetic sign of provision linked to matthew 6:26 and tied together the work the Lord had been doing all week. I do not have the total revelation of this as I write this part that He gave me understanding of but I know it is coming in a couple of days. By the way the pigeons are back today but there were only 11 with the white one today! ???. I believe this is relevant to someone who reads this or maybe all. Living in The Light for God's Glory!
Dec. 27, 2014
A Christmas conversation with family!
It has been a season of tribulation for our family since 2010. Some of us are having to redefine ourselves,some have been refining their lives but all in all there has been radical change to deal with on many levels. As one knows the family dynamic is is an elusive and ever changing position due to so many individuals and their personalities and differences. You can grow up in the same house and share life with these people and be total strangers. You can then get married and have a family of your own and then it gets even stranger. Wishes and wants and perspectives shape conversations that seem more like negotiations or arguments than harmless family banter. This is when you realize that the effects of growing up in this world has molded us in a way that is wonderfully unique but places us diametrically opposed to anyone else's way to do life but ours. We have survived and feel our strategy and way is "the way " and we impose it on everyone we meet whether in a good or bad way it is the lens through which we see and judge the world we live in. Unity can not be forced through command performances or structured family time. What we all want is a place of freedom to be able to coexist with ourselves and family in a nonjudgmental environment. In other words to love our neighbors as ourselves. All families want peace and harmony and a thriving family dynamic. So why is it so difficult? When you stop and think about it diversity is the spice of life so why does what other people say or do affect us in such a self centered way? Because the key to true unity is being Christ centered not self,spouse or children centered. Not letting your job define you or achievements in other areas. Our model and goal in our earthly walk is to conform to Christ and help others to do the same thing. We had maybe the best conversation and time Christmas Eve with our family and it was heart warming since there has been so much struggle and strife. Our family is committed to Christ and Romans 8:28 is revealing its power in our real life family. So do yourself a favor and look at your family through the lens of Christ and recommit yourselves to a prosperous and fruitful family dynamic so the hard times will bring compassion not judgement.
Dec. 22, 2014
"In all of this, Job did not sin by blaming God.......Should we accept
only good things from the hand of God and never anything bad?”;
Job is a difficult example of suffering and redemption many believers
avoid because it doesn't fit the often taught "feel good" theology. It
is more likely when than if, we as believers, will suffer some kind of
trial that will test our faith and our response to that test that will
determine the final outcome. Our reaction to the test will show
whether we really trust our God and His word or not.
It is obvious that Job knew his God and His ways and that he
understood and trusted Him in all things. It is important to know that
Job had no access to any written word, Old or New Covenant, and yet
had an intimate knowledge of his God. He remained faithful and
continued to trust God even when he received the news that everything
he owned was stolen or destroyed and all of his children were killed.
He remained faithful when his body became disease ridden and when his
wife said “Are you still trying to maintain your integrity? Curse God
and die.” his response was simple, “You talk like a foolish woman.
Should we accept only good things from the hand of God and never
Job had an eternal perspective and knew that the here and now are but
a vapor and that all life is but a preparation for that which is to
come. He endured the ridicule of his wife and friends and resisted the
temptation to allow doubt and bitterness against God to enter his
heart. Everyone had an opinion about why he was being tested by God
and it was "accepted" by all that God behind the trouble he was
There are more life lessons in the story of Job than are possible to
write but one of the most crucial lessons is found in this Statement
"When Job prayed for his friends, the Lord restored his fortunes. In
fact, the Lord gave him twice as much as before!". When we find
ourselves in the midst of a trial we must remain faithful even when
well meaning friends and family members are sowing doubt and unbelief
I pray that I will have the faithfulness Job had through the trials
that are in my life now and those yet to come. I understand that God
does not cause troubles but He allows them to come. My response to
what happens I hope will always be to trust Him and that all He does
is for my good and the good of those who are in my life. My faith is
not based on anything but my trust in His faithfulness. I believe that
His faithfulness endure forever......
Dec. 22, 2014
A few years ago while watching my father go through the process of
dying I witnessed many of his medical procedures. This morning while
walking outside in the dark one test he had came to my mind like a 3D
movie. It was so clear and real that it startled me.
He had pneumonia and his doctors thought he might have fluid building
up in the sack around his heart so they ordered a sonogram of his
heart. As I watched the technician perform the test I saw my fathers
heart in real time. I could see every blood vessel and every beat of
his heart. The dye they put in his blood showed it being pumped
through the chambers and out to his body. It was an amazing sight that
I will never forget.
As the vision played out in my mind I asked the Lord why He brought
that experience to my mind and what He wanted me to do with it. As
suddenly as I asked He spoke and said "Pray that you will be able to
see My heart as clearly as you saw your natural fathers heart as you
face the future."
I believe what I saw and what the Lord spoke is a "word" we are all
going to need in the days ahead. If you, like me and my family, are
facing difficulties in this world pray that through it all we will
"see" the heart of God as it beats strong and healthy pumping life and
love to the entire body. We are Our beloveds and His love is always
Dec. 18, 2014
On October 28,1981, I was returning from the Indianapolis Int. Airport where a group from our church had just given Mark and Sue Sponseller and their 4 children prayer for their trip to Mendosa, Argentina. I asked the Lord for an anointing to studying the Bible. He said, "Study the Bible from Genesis to Revelation for the times and seasons of the Israel and the Church".
On February 13th,1987, at 11:00 PM, The Lord spoke, "Go to the Library in the morning and I will show you the BEGINNING OF THE END TIMES'. In the morning I entered the Library, He spoke, "Go to the section on the History of Modern Israel.".
When I discovered the BEGINNING OF THE END TIMES, it was February 14, 1896, and I realized it was exactly 91 years ago I saw a vision of Theodur Herzl reading his first pamphlet declaring a new Jewish Homeland. This galvanized and set fires over the Jews of Europe and many Christians who believed the scriptures concerning the complete Restoration of ISRAEL. Herzl became the Father of Modern Israel and a true PROPHET when you discover all his writings and faith in Israel.
On August 15, 1988, I was filling prescriptions in AAPR Pharmacy. I started to fill one from LaPorte,
Indiana, I said to myself, that is where I was born [LaPorte=The Door]. Immediately I found my self in Jerusalem as Nehemiah did in his night trip to examine the broken down Wall and Gates burned with FIRE. Neh. 6:15 "The Wall was finished in 52 days" Ezk. 4:6 "I have appointed you Day for a YEAR". The Lord's confirmation, "Dan Quayle will become Bush's Vice President running mate". It was announced 24 later.
On the evening of Valentine's Day 1948, The Holy Spirit fell on 70 prophets in North Battleford, Sask., Canada. George Hawtin led that group for about 5 years which was known as the start of the LATTER RAIN MOVEMENT. Notables were Bill Britton, Bill Hamon, Kelley Varner,and Don Nori Sr.
That same night Valentine's Night in 1948, I had my first date with my future wife, PATIA HOSEA of Shephartic Heritage traced back to 1492 from her father Max Hosea later in 1948. We were married 58 years with 4 children, 11 grandchilldren, and 9 Great Grandchildren.
The third Valentine's Day, each 52 years apart took place in Moravian Falls/ Wilkesboro, NC.
It started on Fenruary 14, 2000 called the MorningStar Prophetic Conference with Rick Joyner, Prophet Bob Jones,Steve Thompson, Robin McMillan, and Bobby Conner.
Looking back on all that took place, I noted the night we had a visit from heaven. The Storm from Heaven was called out by Bob Jones, "Them are SCREAMING EAGLES". They came to announce the start of the MESSIANIC KINGDOM GENERATION, 2000 TO 2052.
The next Prophetic Supernatural Conference on Valentine's will be Feb. 13-14-15 at The Gathering in Moravian Falls by Bobby Conner. The Prophetic timing is in Ezk. 47:1-9
The water will flow from the Temple starting at Sundown Christmas Night for 50 days to Sundown Feb 13th representing the water level at the FEET. FEB. 14th 50 days the water flow to Passover April 4th the ANKLES. Then the water will flow to PENTECOST May 24th for 50 days.to the WAIST/ LOINS.
Then the water will increase to TABERNACLES FOR SWIMMERS ONLY, Sept. 28 and beyond ever INCREASING. This represents Revelation 14:1-9 The 144 Thousand SONS OF GLORY
Zion Watchman On The WALL
Dec. 15, 2014
Staying Christ focused to become Christ centered
The second testimony was my inability to stay focused on Christ who lives in me and not me whom Christ lives through. It may seem like a subtle difference but the heart and mind set is radically different. We understand that God is all sovereign through scripture and that we can do nothing apart from Him as John the Apostle tells us. Paul told the Phillipians that you can do all things through Christ. So how do we reconcile the two truths to find the true will of God. Once you have given your life to Christ you are led to be dead in Christ. Galatians 2:20 is the scripture that best explained to me the middle ground so to speak coupled with 2 Corinthians 5:17 and being a new creation in Christ. The gifts of the spirit and the fruits of the spirit are given for the body to grow in Christ as well as the individual. The benefit we have from salvation is already totally present with Jesus coming to live in us. The benefit from here on out is to be to the Glory of God. Our part is guided by the Holy Spirit to the pleasure of our Lord. As we employ the gifts of the spirit for the body we will reap the fruits of the spirit for the Farmer that planted our seed. We can only operate in the liberty of the Presence when we are humbled to His unctions not ours. So why does God have people give us prophetic words and show us our destiny through dreams and visions if we are not to try and get there. These communications from the Father are to make us aware of our potential that He sowed into us in our mother's womb. This is the essence of who we are and what our life might be like if we stay focused on the fact that it is Christ in us that is the hope of glory. Your flesh and the enemy will push you off your sweet spot and tell you that you need to make the most of what God has given you. But the truth is that Jesus who lives in you is the only one that can deliver your God given potential to you and the Father in the way you were designed because He is your creator. Jesus goes with you everywhere you go and is present to see all that you do why not go with Jesus wherever He goes and be present to see all that He does. Keep your heart focus on Christ and the Holy Spirit and the Angels will perform the will of God meant for you and only you. Temperance,which is the fruit of self control, is where you say, " Lord your will not mine". Be blessed in the riches of Christ which you have inherited.
Love and blessings,
Dec. 3, 2014:
Trust in the Lord to lead not your old mind
Ok now that you are armed with salvation the word of God starts to take on a life of it's own. Scripture has never seemed so alive and it is like you can see all that it speaks to in your life as well as others. You are high on Jesus and you want every one else to feel what you are feeling. The honeymoon is on in full swing! This is the period in which your balance can be off because you just became a new creation in Christ and you are looking for that firm footing on the "Rock". Our pendulum tends to swing and stay pegged to one side. We are so full of the thoughts like; I have to act a certain way,I can't hang out in the same places I used to,I need to feed all the starving people, I need to go on a mission trip,I need to give all my clothes to the needy, I have to love my neighbor and all,of a sudden you are feeling overwhelmed. I went through this and made a lot of decisions that I had to go back and change months and years later. The deal is that you have tapped into the mind of Christ because He is now transforming you, but the challenge is that your mind has not caught up. The renewing of the mind in Romans 12:2 is bringing your mind back to God's original state for humanity before the fall. I segregated myself, became self centered and was led into many pitfalls because I did not enter the newness in rest, I entered in striving and performing. My testimony to you in this area is to sit back read the word and pray and talk to God and give the seed a chance to sprout and let your Lord and Savior lead you as he sees fit. Revelation can't be understood by a worldly mind as the parable in Mark 4 and Matthew 13 about the farmer that sows the seed talks about. Remember you are unique in the Lord give Him the opportunity to rebuild you so to speak in the way that only your creator can do. Lean your head upon His chest like John and sit at His feet like Mary and and rest in the fact that you are hidden in Christ and He is now your all and everything! You must grow out of immaturity to become mature so enjoy the process and do not worry.
Nov. 11, 2014:
What To Do When You Are New (2 Corinthians 5:17-6:2)
This a very precious and volatile time in person's life who has just reconciled with Jesus as his or her Lord and Savior. On the one hand it is the sweetest honeymoon season you will ever experience as the love starts to pour into you and on the other hand you start having feelings about your prior life that can be very unsettling. Transformation has begun immediately as you asked christ into your heart and at the same time you popped up on the enemies radar. A most crucial step is to find a church and meet with the pastor or welcoming committee as some churches have and tell them of your salvation and let them put some trusted folks around you to walk with you. All the Christian vocabulary can be intimidating if someone is not there to lead you in truth and spirit about the Kingdom and God's ways. Get involved and let the Lord start being your compass. Along with this first step reading your bible is a must. To know and understand God's will for your life and the world is paramount. You have accepted the Word made flesh as your Lord and as you read God's written word you will find the two combine to become the voice of God in your life. The bible is your instruction manual for all areas of your life now and you must seek out the treasures it holds for YOU!
Oct. 27, 2014:
I attended a Kingdom Business conference hosted by Morningstar Ministries in Fort Mill, SC this past weekend. I had received a prophetic word in November 2013 that was opposite from what I thought the Lord intended to use my life for. I thought I was going into church ministry but the word was to go back into the marketplace which had just chewed me up and spit me out. Fear and a sense of foreboding failure set in for about 6 weeks while my natural man and spiritual man battled. I woke up on February 6,2014 with a confidence and peace that I knew was His. I sat down at my desk and I heard The Lord say "ok let's get down to business". Then the real struggle followed. I didn't really posses a true marketplace skill set, heck I don't even have a college degree. I had a brokers real estate license and an expired commercial contractors license. Since the Lord asked me to step to the sidelines of our family business in the spring of 2012 and placed me in the school of the spirit, so to speak, I had never considered that I would be asked to be a Kingdom Business man by my Lord. Needless to say I did not steward that word as I should have. Finally after many months of the Lord confirming this word through dreams and others my spirit started to let it gain traction. We started our 501c3 and got this website running as "ground" for the Lord to plant in and brother did he through this conference. The first night I was torn down but by the next afternoon hope was starting to take over. The speakers were giving me manna from heaven and I could tangibly feel myself getting full. As I submitted to this calling then and there the Lord sent three people with words of encouragement and direction and strategy. A peace came over me that calmed my fears and showed me that the only qualification I needed for this call would come from Him. He gave me this purpose and through my submission he will provide the wisdom and strategy needed for after all the plan is His. Remember He wants you to succeed more than you do. And when you co-labor(submit) with His will then you truly serve to the pleasure of the Lord. Be bold and embrace the impossible with God and watch Him display His Glory.
Oct. 6, 2014: So love thy neighbor, lay hands on the sick, pray for your enemies or what ever way the Lord leads you, just be sure to let us know. If you want to share your personal testimony that is awesome just keep the past limited because the true testimony is
what you have done when Jesus entered your life.
Blessings of Hope,
Mark and Charlotte Yow